When I was about 18, I learned to ride a motorbike. It was exciting and gave me a sense of freedom. I often rode through my hometown of Melaka, exploring both the town and its outskirts. One day, while speeding through a remote area, I approached a sharp almost 90-degree turn. As I slowed down, I noticed a car speeding up behind me.
To avoid the car, I veered to the side of the road, unaware that the ground was covered with gravel and small rocks. Although the car sped past, I lost control, skidded off the road, and crashed into some rocks. I was shocked and shaken. I was lucky that I didn’t crack my head because I banged onto a rock. My crash helmet saved me.
When I stood up to assess the damage, I realized my bike was still functional, but I wasn’t. My arms and legs were scraped and bleeding. Unsure of what to do, I decided to ride home, even though I was covered in blood.
As I rode, people stared at me, and I felt a deep sense of shame and fear. More than anything, I dreaded what my parents would say. Would they scold me? Ban me from riding? Punish me?
When I finally reached home, my fear outweighed my physical pain. My mother saw me and rushed over. My fear heightened even more. Then, instead of reprimanding me, she cried and embraced me. She sat me down and tended to my wounds, listening as I explained what had happened. Not once did she scold me.
Her compassion, her tender care, and her love soothed my heart and healed me faster than the antiseptic and bandages ever could. That day, I learned that compassion has the power to heal not just physical wounds but emotional ones too. Without compassion, I would not have fully healed.
This brings me to our topic today: our Compassionate Self.
Hi everyone, welcome to The Possibility Journey. I am Teck Ming. I love helping people find meaning in their lives so that they can live life to the fullest.
Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, said:
“Having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness.”
Yet, how often do we let our Inner Critic take over instead of our Compassionate Self? The Inner Critic is that voice in your head that judges, criticizes, and demands perfection. It’s the opposite of compassion. I talked about our Inner Critic in my previous video. I will put a link below if you would like to discover more about it.
Today, I have a good news for you, we can discover, introduce, or reintroduce our Compassionate Self into our lives. Are you ready? Let’s try a simple but profound exercise.
To discover our Compassionate Self,
First, find a photo of yourself: It could be one from your childhood or of your current self.
I decided a photo of my younger self. This is the photo of my younger self
- Look at your childhood photo.
- I want you to speak to this younger version of yourself with love, kindness, and compassion.
- Tell your younger self three things you admire or are proud of.
- “Ah Ming. That’s my nickname when I was young.
- I want to tell you three things that I like about you and appreciate you for.
- The first one is that you are a very kind and obedient child. Everyone in our family always make mention of that, that you listen and follow instructions well.
- Secondly, you are a caring person. I can still remember you taking care of some neighbourhood cats and chickens that you found around your house.
- Finally, Ah Ming, the third one is that you are a hard working and keen learner. Even though you like to play and is playful, but you also study hard to do well in school. Ah Ming, I am very proud of you.”
- Now, take a pause and let yourself feel the joy and warmth from this interaction.
Great job everyone. How was your experience?
For me, I find it uplifting being able to hear my Compassionate Self telling me what he appreciates and are proud of me.
Before we end, I would like to suggest a homework for you to help you strengthen your Compassionate Self.
- Every day, or every few days, take out a photo of yourself. You can choose any photo. If you want to you can snap one with your camera.
- Speak to yourself with compassion, acknowledging three things you’re proud of yourself in the last few days.
- You will see that over time, you’ll notice your Compassionate Self growing stronger and your Inner Critic quieter.
By letting your Compassionate Self grow, you’ll find more positivity and resilience in your life.
Thank you for joining me today on The Possibility Journey. I hope this exercise helps you connect with your Compassionate Self and live with more love and kindness.
Bye, take care, and I will see you again on another possibility journey.
Written by:
Mr. Lee Teck Ming
(Psychotherapist)
New Vision Counselling and Consultancy 