You wake up one morning feeling drained, even after a full night’s sleep. You think, Maybe I just need a treat. So you book a spa session, buy your favourite coffee, and scroll through travel blogs dreaming of a weekend getaway. For a moment, you feel lighter. But by evening, the heaviness returns.
You wonder: Isn’t this what self-care is supposed to fix? Why am I still feeling so empty and drained?
Then one quiet evening, you decide to pause. You put down your phone, sit by the window, and simply breathe. No distractions, no rush. You ask yourself— You realise your body aches for regular movement, not just a one-off massage. Your mind craves rest, not more noise disguised as entertainment. Your heart longs for connection, not just quick escapes.
You start small. You go to bed a little earlier. You move your body gently each day. You make time for conversations that nourish, not drain. Slowly, you feel something shift.
You begin to understand: real self-care isn’t about escaping your life—it’s about building a life you don’t need to escape from.
Because self-care isn’t just something you do for yourself. Self-care is how you love yourself—consistently, intentionally, and deeply.
Self-care. It’s a term we hear so often, yet its essence can get lost amidst fleeting trends and surface-level fixes. Many think of self-care as going for spas, unplugging for the weekend, or enjoying a favourite snack or drink. Those things can be good, but real and lasting self-care isn’t about temporary indulgence—it’s about intentionally nurturing yourself in ways that resonate deeply and endure through time. It’s asking the honest question, What do I truly need to thrive, body, heart, mind and soul?
True self-care plants the seeds for a life you can cherish. It’s the small steps you take today, and the significant changes you make towards your values and what matters most to you. Together, they create a foundation for genuine fulfilment. Here’re some ideas of real long-lasting self-care might look like:
- It could be you setting boundaries that protect your peace and flow to allow you to focus on what truly matters.
- Or building habits that nurture long-term health and happiness, establishing a foundation for a fulfilling life.
- Or you creating clarity in your finances and budgeting to alleviate stress and plan wisely for the future.
- Maybe it is opening your heart to ask for the support you deserve.
- Or it is you taking purposeful action toward a dream you’ve long cherished but set aside.
Real self-care isn’t tied to extravagance or perfection. Instead, it’s something accessible and meaningful, rooted in the life you have right now. It could extend to your career, your relationships, your health, your intellectual pursuits, your altruistic efforts, and your spirituality. At its core, self-care is about values—it’s about living in alignment with what makes you whole.
So let’s begin. Here are five questions to help you reflect on your life:
- Let’s start by asking, “What are you currently doing for self-care?” List them down.
- From the list, which ones are helping or not helping you to live a rich and meaningful life? Are they long lasting and fulfilling? If any of them are not, it is time to let go of those that are unhelpful. If they are helpful, keep them.
- Have you been neglecting your needs? And how has neglecting or putting off your needs negatively impacted you? Write them down and reflect on them.
- If you were going to take better care of yourself this month, what would self-care look like in terms of your spirituality, health, work, relationships, finances, dreams, or altruistic efforts?
- Finally, what small steps could you take towards your daily self-care practice? Just choose one or two and start.
Don’t wait. Start now! Start with that one or two small acts or make a bold change to dedicate yourself to something that nurtures your well-being—something realistic, yet profound in its ability to enrich your life.
True and lasting self-care isn’t about fleeting escapes; It’s about creating a life where your values, your peace, and your happiness have room to grow and thrive.
Bye, take care, and I will see you again on another possibility journey.
Written by:
Mr. Lee Teck Ming
(Psychotherapist)
New Vision Counselling and Consultancy 