Many people associate trauma with a single, major event like a car crash or a natural disaster. However, for many of us, the most profound pain comes not from a single blow, but from a series of small, repeated hurts within our closest relationships. This is known as relational trauma.
What is Relational Trauma?
Relational trauma occurs when our basic needs for safety, connection, and acceptance are consistently unmet by the people we depend on. These deep wounds can stem from various experiences, such as:
- Emotional neglect: Having caregivers who were physically present but emotionally distant or unavailable.
- Conditional love: Feeling accepted only when you behaved in a certain way.
- Emotional unpredictability: Constantly feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells” around someone’s moods.
- Chronic invalidation: Having your feelings repeatedly ignored, dismissed, or criticized.
Over time, these patterns can teach our nervous system to anticipate rejection or danger, even in safe situations, making it difficult to form healthy connections later in life.
The Path to Healing: Repairing Through Connection
The good news is that what was broken in a relationship can also be healed in a relationship. Relational Trauma Repair (RTR) therapy focuses on this very idea. It’s not about erasing the past, but about creating new, healing experiences that can rewire your nervous system.
Through this process, you learn to:
- Build trust with yourself and others.
- Express your needs and emotions in a healthy way.
- Establish a sense of safety in your connections.
Healing relational trauma isn’t a quick fix; it’s a patient and deeply human journey. It involves revisiting the places where trust was broken, not to relive the pain, but to finally give yourself the support and acceptance you needed all along. Ultimately, the most powerful healing happens in connection, where the wounds first began.
New Vision Counselling and Consultancy 