We all have them: those sensitive spots, those hidden wounds that cause us to overreact or shut down in certain situations.
Maya was a high-performing manager with big dreams. She worked hard, set ambitious goals, and seemed unstoppable—until a simple piece of feedback from her boss sent her spiraling. One comment about her “needing to speak up more” triggered days of anxiety and self-doubt.
Why did this minor piece of feedback cause such a major reaction?
Maya had an Emotional Fault Line—an unhealed crack formed years ago when she was repeatedly scolded as a child to “stay quiet.” The feedback wasn’t just feedback; it was an emotional quake that shook her confidence, disrupted her focus, and made her question her vision for the future.
What Are Emotional Fault Lines?
In the natural world, fault lines are deep cracks beneath the earth’s surface. Most of the time, they lie still and unnoticed. But when pressure builds, they can trigger earthquakes powerful enough to shatter entire cities.
Our emotional world works much the same way. Emotional Fault Lines are the hidden fractures created by unhealed hurts, unmet needs, or traumatic experiences from our past. They might form from a parent’s constant neglect, a childhood friend’s betrayal, or a teacher’s words that made us feel small.
Most days, these fault lines stay quiet, invisible to those around us—and even to ourselves. But when life applies pressure through criticism, rejection, or failure, they “quake,” disrupting our emotional balance and shaking our sense of identity, safety, and self-worth.
How These Fault Lines Impact Our Lives
These hidden wounds can hold us back in three key ways:
- They Distort Your Reality: Like an earthquake that breaks windows, emotional fault lines can twist how you see yourself and the world. You might have big dreams, but if you secretly believe you’re not good enough, you’ll see more problems than chances.
- They Sabotage Your Success: Have you ever given up on a goal right before you could reach it? This often happens because an emotional fault line is at work. Your mind may be trying to protect you from things like failure or rejection, even if those fears are no longer real.
- They Drain Your Energy: Dealing with old emotional pain uses up a lot of your energy. It’s like trying to run a race while wearing a heavy backpack. You might be moving ahead, but it feels incredibly tiring.
- They Shake Your Relationships: Emotional fault lines don’t just affect you; they also impact the people around you. If your fault line is about trust, it might stop you from building close relationships or cause you to push people away when you need them most.
Healing and Moving Forward
The first step to healing is noticing when a quake is happening. The next time you feel an intense emotional reaction to something—anger, sadness, or anxiety—pause and get curious. Ask yourself: “What is this reaction really about?” By understanding the root of your pain, you can stop being held back by your past. Often, these strong reactions aren’t just about what’s happening now. They’re Emotional Fault Lines from the past—old beliefs, buried fears, or wounds that were never fully healed. By gently tracing the feeling back to its source, you loosen the power those hidden fault lines hold over you.
Once you can identify the pain, the work shift. You’re no longer trying to fight or hide from your emotions—you learn to work with them. This is called psychological flexibility: staying present with uncomfortable feelings while still choosing actions that reflect your values.
Each time you respond this way, you strengthen your emotional foundation. You build resilience. You regain your sense of voice and choice. Over time, fear can turn into courage, and pain can become wisdom.
You’re not just surviving the quake—you’re rebuilding on stronger, steadier ground.
Written by:
Mr. Lee Teck Ming
(Psychotherapist and Relational Trauma Repair Therapist)
New Vision Counselling and Consultancy 